Passive Aggressive Love and Lust
by akuma-river
Summary: Mako is dealing with his unrequited feelings for Haru and to a point Rin when he walks into Haru's bedroom. MakoHaruRin
1. Chapter 1

I've been dragged into the Free! fandom and I love it. So here is my first fic in the fandom.

This was supposed to be one large pwp one-shot fic. Maybe 10k words long. But I had to have a set-up and that brought in more words and angst. Don't worry, it all ends in an orgy so just enjoy the angsty ride.

Non-beta'd.

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Mako and Haru were walking out of their classroom talking when one of their classmates, Tachimoto-kun came up to Mako asking about an assignment due within the week. Mako looked at Haru as he hovered nearby and gave him a slight nod of his head to signal to Haru to go on without him.

Mako talked with Tachimoto-kun for nearly thirty minutes in the hallway discussing their assignment and the various duties they would have. It took much longer than Mako had thought it would and he didn't know where Haru went.

Did Haru go to the pool to spend his time waiting for Mako since the weather was still warm enough he could swim in even though they didn't have swim practice since their disqualification at Regionals? Or did Haru go home? Or was he still at school waiting for Mako in one of his hiding places because he was in the middle of asking Mako something when Tachimoto-kun interrupted them. It seemed important by the manner in which Haru was finding it difficult to talk about and Mako's noticed for the past couple of days that Haru had something on his mind.

Mako didn't know where Haru went or if he decided to hang around nearby waiting for Mako, he sent Haru a text message asking where he was but like usual Haru didn't respond. Since Mako was still at the school he decided to conduct his search there and checked all of Haru's favorite places.

One by one Mako went through them as he went down the floors of the school until he got to the pool. Like the others it was empty.

Nearly an hour had gone by since Haru left and Mako decided to give up and go check Haru's home.

The entire time Mako spent walking to Haru's house he thought about what it was that could be so important that it was bothering Haru so much. Was it about Mako? Did Haru hear or pick up on something that gave away his crush on Haru? Or Rin? Was Haru trying to find a way to turn down Mako's advances without ruining their friendship?

Mako thought he hid his feelings deep enough that no one knew. He could speak about it to anyone because the one person who he could speak to it about was involved in it and his circle of friends all knew each other. His parents, he wasn't sure how to bring up the fact that their hopes for grandchildren from are a long way off because he is hopelessly flamingly gay.

Mako isn't even semi-attracted to females. He can appreciate them in an aesthetic sense but not in a romantic or sexual manner. All of his 'sex dreams' have starred men. Mainly swimmers. Besides Haru and Rin there was a few other swimmers their age as well including Rin's Captain Mikoshiba-kun. Mako is thankful beyond reason that Rei or Nagisa haven't shown up. He isn't sure he would be able to look them in the eye anymore.

Haru and Rin is different since he's known about his feelings for them since grade school.

Haru was the only person who Mako felt connected to and possessive of to a certain degree. It seemed like Haru felt the same when Rin first transferred to their school all those years ago but then it became about the two of them orbiting each other and Mako realized there was no room for him. He couldn't even commit his feelings to one person unlike them. He didn't deserve to give voice to his attraction to either of them because it wasn't fair. He couldn't choose and there was no way he could have them both so it was better that he didn't have either of them, that they could find each other.

Then Rin left. He left all of them and it was just Haru and Mako again when Nagisa went to a different school.

Mako thought that since Rin took himself out of the equation that maybe now he could choose. That he could be with Haru. Haru, however, didn't show any inclination and then he quit swimming. Mako didn't know what to do so he just kept quiet about his feelings and resolved himself to being Haru's friend.

High school started and still Haru hadn't changed. Mako thought about finding a boyfriend, someone who could love him back, but with his feelings still attached to Haru Mako didn't think it would be fair to the other guy. Mako was in an unrequited love with his best friend and nothing had changed or will change that.

Then Nagisa and Rin came back into their lives and Mako realized that Haru still orbited around Rin.

When Mako found out that Haru quit because of a race with Rin he felt like his heart had been stabbed. He wondered why Haru never told him why he quit. And now why he never mentioned that Rin came back. Maybe it was because this thing was between Haru and Rin and Mako wasn't a part of that. A part of them. He was the outsider to their relationship.

It was why Mako stood back. He was Haru's pillar of support but he kept his feelings to himself. Hau didn't belong with Mako, he belonged with Rin who give Haru his passion and drive. Mako just let him be and never challenged him and as a result Haru floundered. It was Mako's fault that Haru wasn't happy because he wasn't Rin.

Then came the training camp and Mako saw a side of Haru he's never seen before. He was so worried, so supportive, so caring that Mako felt like his heart would swell. It was why he confessed to Haru in his abstract manner that he thought Haru would comprehend. He thought he finally got Haru's attention and understanding.

Then Nagisa popped up and Mako never heard Haru's response. Did he feel the same way? Did he love Mako like Mako loved Haru? Was there room in Haru's heart for Mako?

Then the Prefectures happened and they all lost. Haru was devastated by losing to Rin and something that Rin said to him. Mako knew it was more than just losing because never cared about winning, but Haru never told him what happened between them or why he was so affected by losing. Mako hadn't seen so torn up about something except when he quit the swim club. It was at that moment that Mako realized that Haru's heart belonged to Rin. That Mako was the sidekick in this story.

It was okay though. Haru knew and this rejection was okay. It was best to speak about it, to let Haru know how he felt than it did to hold back everything like he has for years. Mako thinks that he can let Haru go.

Mako waiting at Haru's house for him to come back. He just wanted to make sure Haru was okay. Even if he decided he didn't want to swim in the relay. Mako half-thought it might be best. Because if they weren't swimming in practice every day like they have been then it would give Mako time to create some distance between Haru and himself so he fall out of love with Haru.

It was easier to give up on Rin because he knew he wouldn't look at Mako the way he did Haru. Mako knew Rin's heart belonged to Haru. Now with Haru's belonging to Rin Mako could start to find someone else.

There was a senpai that Mako knew had eyes that would watch Mako. Mako didn't know his name yet because he was too shy to ask around the school about it worried that it might send the wrong message and still being a little hung up on Haru. He was around Mako's height and had dark brown eyes and hair that when the sun hit it just right showed a little golden halo that Mako could see from his window in class when the senpai had P.E.

There were a few occasions that Mako was walking in the hallways and Haru wasn't around him and he would catch his senpai's eyes. The sight of those dark brown eyes made Mako's face brighten and cause him to duck his head. Mako thought there might be a connection there between them. Because he knew a couple of times that he blushed that senpai had seen it and a grin popped up on his face before his friend distracted him.

Waiting for Haru at the entranceway Mako thought about what would happen if they didn't do the relay. If they didn't move on to Regionals. Maybe Mako could pursue something with his senpai. Possibly with his senpai Mako could find someone to love him back, for once, instead of just loving others who won't or can't return his affections.

Then Haru came home in the middle of the night and woke Mako up since he fell asleep in the entranceway and he told Mako that they had a relay to swim in. Mako didn't know what to feel. Elated, joyful, worried, disappointed, so many emotions went through him but the part of him that loved to swim with his teammates wanted to see what would happen.

Mako wasn't sure what to feel after winning the Prefecturals. He felt Haru needed to sort things out on his own and so he stepped back and let Haru have time to reflect on his issues.

They were busy with training for Regionals so there wasn't much time to see his senpai but the few times that he did made Mako's heart race. Senpai even came up to Mako outside the pool area before practice the day before the festival to introduce himself, congratulate Mako on making it to Regionals, and to wish him luck. Mako's face felt on fire and his tongue twisted up inside his mouth and he tried to reply. He was so embarrassed he ducked his head down but then Saitou Shinji-senpai casually put his hand under Mako's chin and lifted it. For a moment there Mako thought he was going to be kissed but then Nagisa showed up screaming, "Mako-chan!"

Mako thought he would he would have to stop his conversation with Saitou-senpai because of Nagisa but Nagisa just dragged Rei with him shortly after glomping Mako. Mako and his senpai were left in a moment of befuddlement over Nagisa's intentions. Mako turned back to apologize to Saitou-senpai when he quickly dipped his head and dropped a light kiss upon Mako's lips. He left with a casually whispered, "See ya later, Mako-chan."

It took a solid five minutes for Mako's face to stop blushing and he hid it from anyone who might notice by facing the chain link fence surrounding the pool. He just gripped the fence and prayed that his face would stop blushing so he could get to the changing room and hurriedly get into the pool before anyone could ask him why he took so long. Meanwhile his free hand was softly touching his lips and thinking of how his senpai gave him his first kiss.

Mako was starting to feel like he could move on from his unrequited loves because Saitou-senpai was interested in him. It may not be love, yet. It may not become the same love that Mako felt for Haru and Rin, but it was his chance at happiness and Mako felt he had to take it. That he couldn't be dragged into this endless cycle of morose over his one-sided feelings. Haru and Rin were going to end up together and now Mako had his own special someone.

Then the festival for Hachiman-sama happened and Mako's world was turned upside down.

Nagisa wanted to keep Haru and Rin away from each other because Regionals was coming up and he didn't want Rin to make things worse for Haru. For Mako it wasn't the fact that Haru might abandon the team and not compete in Regionals. Mako didn't care about that. It was Haru's emotional state as he was still in an emotional funk. Mako just wanted Haru to be happy and while he may think that lay with Rin the timing was not right yet.

When Haru found out about Rin being there he was so calm and understanding about it that Mako thought Haru was finally going to be okay. That he finally found the answers that he was searching for.

Bringing the soda up to area where they could watch out over the festival grounds Mako felt peace within himself. Watching Haru stare out over it for a while Mako couldn't help but want to cheer him up and started talking about how felt during the relay and it reminded him of that relay with Rin. Mako spoke about how happy he was to swim with Haru, with everyone.

Then Haru talked about his desire of swimming and how losing to Rin made him rethink everything. How he wouldn't be able to swim with Rin again. How watching them brought him back in a way and that if they wanted to swim in a relay then he would too.

Mako didn't know what to think or feel. Was this Haru confessing his love for Rin? Was this Haru choosing his teammates over Rin? Was this Haru finally giving Mako an answer to his confession back at training camp?

Then Haru gave Mako goldfish. Like the ones he had back in grade school that he lovingly took care of until they died. Was this Haru finally giving Mako an answer to his confession from back at training camp? Was this a yes or a no?

Nagisa wanted to name the goldfish after them, but Haru wanted them to be named Mackerel, Bonito, Tuna, and Jackfish. Mako went with Haru's name suggestions. If this was a parting gift of his unrequited love then Mako wanted them to keep the names that Haru picked as a remembrance of this peaceful time. Perhaps they will bring luck in Regionals?

Mako wanted an answer to his confession. He needed an answer in order to move on, but asking this monumental question shortly before Regionals is just too taboo and Mako couldn't risk that it would mess with their equilibrium on the team.

Mako was lucky that Saitou-senpai knew about the rush to get ready for Regionals. He wasn't sure what he would have done if his senpai came up to him once more between those times. Did Saitou-senpai consider themselves to be dating? If his senpai kissed him again would Mako have kissed back?

After the dinner at Goro-san's house put things into perspective for Mako. The talk about Rin and how they were in the past. It made Mako's heartache for the Rin he once knew and harbored his unrequited love upon. "Connected by a red string of fate," was what Amakata-sensei said. But whom was the one the string connected to? All of them, Nagisa, Haru, Mako, and Rin? Or just Rin and Haru and Nagisa and himself were just extra?

The picture of snowmen with Haru and himself making the dolphin and Rin the shark.

The walk back from the dinner with Rei asking them about what happened between the four of them. To be honest, Mako wanted to know that as well. The words that Rei spoke, "I'm tired of being the only one on the outside," really struck Mako. It hit too close to the belt for him because that was what he felt. He felt like he was the only one on the outside of Haru and Rin and stuck unknowing what his position is supposed to be. i_Where do I belong?_/i

Haru started to talk about the time and Mako remembered the joy and completeness he felt that day with all of them. He also felt the emptiness of all the years between that day and when they started the swim club.

Then Rei disappeared on them to go confront Rin. Mako remembered how they all went to visit Rei and how Haru nearly died. Mako felt as if his heart leapt up his throat. It was just a melon bread but Haru needed to be rescued all the same.

Then the trip to Regionals was upon them. Haru and Mako were to bunk together in the hotel. Haru left in the middle of the night for run and at first Mako thought it was because he was embarrassed and then he thought i_he's leaving to go see Rin, __isn't he?_/i.

It's strange. Mako thought he had resolved his feelings for Haru but the thought of Haru leaving him to go see Rin brought a pain into his chest. He wondered when the day would come that he would finally be released from this unending pain and find someone to love and love him. When will he finally be able to let go of his unrequited love?

Saitou-senpai has made overtures to Mako. Shortly before the trip Mako found himself walking down the hallway when his senpai showed up. They spoke quietly and Saitou-senpai had gently held Mako's hand as they spoke. Mako knew his face was bright red from the heat he could feel from it but there was this glint in his senpai's eyes that let him know it was okay. They were in public even without anyone nearby so Saitou-senpai refrained from kissing Mako once more. However, he whispered in his ear that he would the next time he saw Mako alone. Then softly touched Mako's cheek and walked on as the doors to the classroom's opened for the end of class.

Mako wondered as he laid in bed drifting off to sleep after Haru left if he deserved Saitou-senpai's affections as he was still hung up on Haru and to a point Rin. It didn't help the way that Haru seemingly played with Mako's emotions as before he left Haru told him that he appreciated Mako being there with him for him.

Was it just in a friendly manner then why did he need to quickly leave for a run? Why did he need to go see Rin? Why won't Haru let him go? Why does he constantly need to pull Mako back to him? Is Haru unaware that Mako is waiting for the moment that Haru rejects him? Let's him go to pursue others? Is Haru unaware of Mako's feelings for him after all this time? Is this just Mako putting his own emotions and desires upon Haru's actions and there is actually nothing there?

Then the relay happened with Rin with them instead of Rei and guiltily Mako feels more at peace than he has in many years. He missed this. He missed being with Rin. He wants them both and he can't have that. He can't have them both because that's just not the way the world works.

So Mako has slowly been distancing himself from them both. He can't have them but he can have Saitou-senpai.

Mako saw his senpai in school earlier in the day. He was going to make a move. Today was the day that he was going to break from the chains of his one-sided love. It was during a free period and Mako snuck away from Haru. He walked towards where he could Saitou-senpai talking to his friends. They made eye contact and Saitou-senpai was starting to walk towards Mako. Mako could feel his cheeks redden and he started to walk towards his senpai. They weren't very far away when suddenly Mako felt someone grab his arm and start to drag him away.

Mako turned his head to confront the interloper when he realized it was Haru. "Ha-Haru-chan?" Haru didn't look at him when he turned his head instead it he was looking beyond him. i_Wh-where are you looking Haru-chan? Saitou-senpai? But why? And what is with that glare in your eyes? Why are you doing this Haru-chan?_/i

Haru didn't say one word to Mako and Mako stopped trying. He just let Haru drag him away back to the classroom.

The rest of the day until they ran into Tachimoto-kun Haru never left his side. It was like he was glued to Mako's side and Mako had no idea why Haru was doing this. The dark part inside of Mako told him how Haru was jealous with a joyous voice, but that didn't make since because Haru had no reason to be jealous. The distance that Mako was putting between them wasn't enough to put their friendship in jeopardy. It was just enough to Mako room to start to move on with his love life to transfer his affections to Saitou-senpai.

Saitou-senpai wasn't going to replace Haru. He was just going to be his boyfriend. If Haru had Rin then he should let Mako go. Mako deserved some happiness as well, right?

But Haru never spoke of why he prevented Mako from going to Saitou-senpai nor did he speak about why he wouldn't leave Mako's side. Nor did he answer his phone to explain why he just left Mako like that when for half of the day he never left Mako's side.

i_What is going on with Haru-chan? Why is he acting so strange?_/i

Which is why Mako is standing outside of Haru's house knocking on the door. No one comes to answer it and Mako thinks that Haru must be in the bath and decides to check to see if it is unlocked. It is.

Mako opens the door and notices another pair shoes sitting by Haru's. They are too big to be Nagisa's and look different from Rei would war. i_Rin's?_/i

It's at this moment that Mako feels trepidation. That he should just turn back and go home because he's going to walk into something heartbreaking.

Mako ignores that feeling. He removes his shoes and places his book-bag by them. Consciously he doesn't know why he decides to put it down while unconsciously he realizes it would make for a quick getaway.

Mako calls Haru's name but there is no response. He climbs the stairs leading to Haru's room and the bathroom.

Mako once more calls our Haru's name and there is no answering reply. If it wasn't for the fact that he saw their shoes at the entranceway Mako would think there was no one else in the house but him. However, he saw their shoes and he can feel this presence in the air as if the house is occupied. There is a slight noise from the direction of Haru's room.

If this was at any other time, any other place, Mako would be flashing back to horror movies and stories he's heard, but he knows none of that is what is happening here.

Something else is going on but his heart is racing none the less.

Mako's inner self is yelling at him to turn back now. That he doesn't want to see what he knows what he feels he is going to see when he opens that door.

However, Mako is stubborn and tired of this in-between purgatory between the two of them. He wants closure. He wants this pain to end.

Mako walks slowly, softly, without sound towards Haru's closed door. He holds his breath and tunes his ear to see if he can hear anything beyond the door. There is a sound he can't identify and a squeaking of a bed. Then what could be a soft moan.

The inner self is screaming at him to run. To turn around. That it's not too late. That he doesn't need to know.

But he does.

Which is why Mako reaches out his hand and grasps the doorknob and turns it, slowly opening the door.

He can't quite make sense of what he is seeing upon the bed so quietly steps further into the room. The moment it makes sense, that Mako is seen Haru and Rin naked and entwined upon the bed a soft wounded animal sound emits from Mako along with one word, "Oh," spoken in broken hearted tone.

Haru and Rin break apart upon hearing the sound and turned towards Mako.

There is a red flush and panting breaths, but there is no guilt upon their expressions. They feel no remorse for cementing the jackhammer through Mako's heart and finally shattering it to pieces.

Mako isn't supposed to be feeling this way. He was supposed to be happy for them. He was supposed to use this evidence and move on to Saitou-senpai whom has shown he cares for Mako. Saitou-senpai who is waiting for Mako to give him an answer to that kiss he was given oh so long ago. Saitou-senpai who won't twist and turn Mako up with this give and take of Haru's uncertainty and inability to make a clear statement of what he feels and wants. Saitou-senpai who is willing to be there for Mako. Saitou-senpai who won't crush his emotions, love, and heart into dust.

Mako feels tears start to trickle in his eyes and he knows that soon he will start crying. He turns quickly around and starts to walk off out of the room. He has the door knob in his hand and it takes all of his willpower and strength to make sure his voice doesn't crack and give evidence to his heartbreak as he says, "sorry for the interruption."

It's at this moment that Mako hears a scramble upon the bed and Haru crying out, "Mako-chan stop!"

Against his will he stops. His hand upon the doorknob in the process of trying to close the door while he hasn't cross over the threshold. He is stuck, in-between, the moment of staying in the room or walking out.

He stays.


	2. Chapter 2

I received a lovely review from Pandaphil383 as a guest on which meant I couldn't reply to them. (FYI, they are also my ONLY reply on ) I posted a reply on my tumblr (akumakawa search PALaL fanfic tag). I mention this not only because I hope they see it because they gave me inspiration for getting the next chapter out.

You are going to hate me at first because of what I do to Mako then you are going to hate me again because of where I end the chapter.

I told you the orgy was coming. :D

This is where you make requests and suggestions. How do you want things to go? Should there be bondage involved? Toys? Who tops whom in what order?

Non-beta'd.

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The moment that Mako hears Haru crying out for him to stop a part of himself wonders what he did to evoke that distraught sound in Haru's voice. All Mako did was walk in on the two of them and he only wishes to leave because he can feel the tears welling in his eyes from the pain his heart is in and he can feel them slowly falling one by one down his cheek.

His heart is torn asunder and yet it sounds like Mako is the one who hurt Haru. How?

Still, the part of him which loves and is in love with Haru – and after years of conditioning of listening to Haru and doing what he wants – compels Mako to stop. His hand is still on the door knob but his feet and body are inside the room.

Mako can hear movement behind him on the bed but it is hollow and distant to his ears compared to the pounding of his heart and the fear, sorrow, and heartbreak he feels.

All Mako can think of is how he should have listened to his gut when he saw those shoes. He should have listened when he felt the need to leave. That nothing good would come of him going upstairs to Haru's room. He was such a naïve fool to ever think that Haru loved him in that way. That all of the signals he thought he was picking up of Haru showing interest in him was just his foolish mind reading too much into things.

Haru cared for him, but only as a friend. A dear friend.

Which is why Mako was confused when Haru told him to stop. He called him Mako-chan and it's been so many years since Haru called him Mako-chan that he just had to stop. Haru needed him to stop.

Why did he need Mako to stop from running out of the room and house?

There is a muffled sound echoing in his ears. It feels like it is being repeated over and over again and it draws Mako's attention. He focuses on the outside world again and hears Haru asking for him to close the door.

Like before when Haru called his name Mako obeyed. With his hand still on the door handle, Mako took a few tiny steps back in order to shut the door. He then took a few steps forward and leaned his body against the door. Mako was using the door as an emotional crutch. As long as his forehead pressed against the door, his hand gripping the door knob, and his other hand pressed against the door by his head then he didn't have to look at the bed. The bed in which Haru and Rin lay naked in. The bed which held all of his heart's desires and bitter disappointments and pain.

Close the door? Why?

Why did Haru want him to close the door?

To prevent Mako from running away?

Was Haru fearful that this revelation would destroy their friendship? Mako could understand that. For underneath all the sadness and the pain there is a rage and a feeling of betrayal. Haru hurt Mako in ways that he can't find words to express. It would take him time to recover, but he would. He still loves Haru and Rin. He just needs time to heal.

Was Haru fearful that this would cause things change in their behavior towards each other? It's unfortunate, but it would. Mako wouldn't be able to come over to Haru's in the morning and pull him out of the tub. Not for days. Maybe even a week or more. Or maybe, Mako will be unable to do it ever again. He needs distance from Haru and this revelation.

Mako hears something distantly again. He can faintly hear Haru calling for him to back away from the door, but Mako can't. He's frozen. He's stuck in his mind, going through their encounters the past couple of months, and wondering when they finally moved on to this point.

Did he have to catch them in bed with each other?

Couldn't they have just told him they were together? He wouldn't have told, not even Rei, Nagisa, or Gou. He would have kept their secret.

Why couldn't they spare him this pain?

Mako knew it was a possibility, knew it was coming, but it hurts, oh so much more, than he ever expected it to. He didn't think that knowing his best friends are in a relationship without him would hurt this much.

They deserve it though. They deserve to have their love returned.

But so does Mako.

Mako deserves someone to love him back too.

Saitou-senpai offered to be that person for Mako and he just wants to run away from this room and into his arms. To have his senpai take away the pain of his loneliness as he is left out. Out of Haru and Rin's happiness, their new life together.

From his position with his head against the door Mako was watching Haru's carpet become wetter drip by drop with each tear that fell from his eyes. His breathing was starting to become erratic as the crying was becoming progressively worse from the tears cascading down his cheeks with red eyes and heated cheeks and moving towards an incontrollable bawling fit.

Mako hears more rustles from the bed. He doesn't know what is going on nor does he really care at this point. All wants is to leave this room but Haru won't let him. Haru is refusing to let him go.

If this is going to be the 'I like you as a friend Mako and I'm sorry you feel that way' conversation of rejection than Mako would prefer to have it some other time. He's hurting. It hurts so much. Mako never knew the emotional pain of a broken heart could make you think you have physically damaged your heart. That the pain makes you think you are physically shattering and just waiting for the wind to come and blow the pieces away.

It shouldn't feel like this. The heart like the brain has no nerve endings. The pain one feels of a heart attack is from the nerves around the heart. So why does he this feel pain? Why is it centered over his chest? How can this pain exist in such a physical way when all that it can be is emotional pain? Why?

Mako hears something from the bed but he's too focused on trying to calm his breathing to pay attention. He doesn't want to bawl his eyes out with gasping breath and whimpers. It's too embarrassing that he can't even stop the tears from falling out of eyes. Each one that drips down his face and drops to the floor is replaced with two more welling in his eyes. _Why can't I stop crying?_

Mako hears someone calling his name, asking for him to turn around, but he can't. He can't move from this position. He just wants to leave. _Let me leave, Haru. Please. Please, tell me I can leave. Let me leave Haru. Please._

Mako thinks he hears footsteps on the carpet. He is unsure if this is the same person as the one who is calling his name. He is unsure why they have gotten off the bed. Are they dressed? Is it Haru? Rin? Who is it and why are walking to him? Why won't they let him go?

Mako wants to ask, 'Let me go, Haru, please. Why won't you let me go?' But he can't. He can't bring himself to speak because he knows it will give everything away. He just wants to hide his shameful broken heart. He doesn't deserve to feel this. He has no right to do so. They were all just his friends. He never told them explicitly how he felt. He never told them he was in love with them. He couldn't. His heart couldn't choose and when he thought he could, Rin came back. His shameful feelings are not worthy of their purview. They don't need to know how much they have hurt him.

On top of that, Mako physically can't bring himself to do anything but stand there waiting for the moment he can run. It's like if he says anything, moves anything, he will fall shattered to the ground and he will lose any and all ability to keep himself from bawling his eyes out and wailing over his broken heart.

_It's so shameful!_

Mako hears more steps and they near him. He feels this deep-seeded panic rise up inside of him. _NO! Stay over there! Stay on the bed, please. Please, go back. Let me be. Let me go. Please, let me go. Please._

Each step that Mako hears behind him, each call of his name, each whispered voice speaking to the other, just sends Mako spiraling deeper into despair.

His mind is screaming for Haru to let him go. To release him not just from this room but the hold he has on his heart. He needs to be let go. He needs to find solace in something, someone else. He needs to be made whole after recovering from this devastation.

Can't they see how much pain he is in? Can't they see how much he wants to leave? Can't they see that it is only because Haru asked that he stopped? That he didn't leave the room. That he closed the door, with himself in the room, with them? Can't they see that they have him trapped not just in the room but in his heart and mind. He belongs to them but they don't belong to him and now he just wants them to let him go. They don't _need_ him.

The footsteps are coming closer dashing Mako's hope that they would stop and the calls of his name are becoming louder.

Mako doesn't know what they want.

He's not turning around. He can't.

If they want to speak to him it will have to wait. He's still finding it difficult to keep the cries and wails inside and he's taking short and shallow breaths.

"Mako," he hears whispered directly behind him. It's Rin. Rin is the one who got up off the bed and walked towards him. Haru is still on the bed. Why? Is it because they think Mako would feel less hurt if it was Rin who confronted him instead of Haru who broke his heart with all his wishy-washy behavior and confusing signals of yes and no and interest and not?

Is it Rin who is going to comfort and tell him it's okay to be upset? That they're sorry they hurt him? That they still want to be friends because they care about him?

Mako's not sure how to feel about that. No matter who it came from.

He knows they are sory. He knows it wasn't meant to hurt him. He knows that. It still doesn't make things better.

"Mako," Rin says softly moments before he puts his hand on Mako's shoulder. Mako knee-jerk reacts and shoulders off the hand. "Please don't," Mako whispers breathlessly in a cracked voice.

There is a long pause.

Another rustle from the bed. There is no other sound. Just Haru on the bed moving.

Mako wants to know what is going on but on the other hand he doesn't. He just wants to leave.

The pause continues on for so long that Mako starts to wonder if maybe he should turn around. That maybe something is happening he needs to pay attention to. Then Rin comes up behind Mako, puts one hand on his chest, and the other is yanking Mako's hair, and by consequence his head, backwards upon Rin's shoulder.

Mako is forced to make eye contact with Rin and he doesn't know what emotion is there hiding in the blankness. Something has set Rin off and Mako doesn't know what is going to happen.

"You're crying?" Rin asks in that strange tone that he first heard when he laid on eyes on Rin again in that pool club with the trophy in his hands as he lets it fall to the ground. _What's going on here? Why are they acting like I_ hurt _them_?

Mako opened his mouth to say something even if he didn't know what exactly he wanted or would say. Rin however took that as an open invitation and planted his lips on Mako's and his tongue in his mouth.

Mako's mind went blank while Rin's tongue slathered up against his causing tingles to erupt across his body as Rin tightened his grip on Mako's hair.

_Rin's kissing me. Rin's tongue is in my mouth. Haru is watching this. Why is Rin kiss__ing__ me?_

Then, as unexpected as it started it stopped as Mako suddenly found himself with his back pressed up against the wall with Rin holding him in place. Rin's arm was across Mako's clavicle and one of Rin's _naked_ thighs was grinding up against his groin. Mako's head was turned towards the bed where Haru sat with his legs spread and his hand sliding up and down his penis.

Rin whispered in Mako's ear, "You've been a bad boy Mako. You need to be punished."

Mako had no idea what was going on. His red splotchy face was in full view of Haru's eye sight as well as Rin's and they seemed to be taking pleasure in it? In his tears? His hurt? His heartbreak? Why? What was going on?

Rin's other hand grabbed Mako's clothed penis and Mako inhaled quickly and emitted a small whimper.

"You need to be taught a lesson," Rin whispered into Mako's ear, his tongue grazing Mako's ear on some words. Then Rin gently bit his ear and Mako let out a soft gasp and his cock became filled with more blood as he started to gain an erection. Rin noticed and squeezed his hand once more causing another whimper to erupt from Mako's mouth.

Mako hears a slightly sadistic chuckle from Rin and he spies Haru's legs spreading further as he leans back giving Mako a glorious view of himself masturbating.

"Haru," Rin calls out and Haru sits up ending that view and nods his head.

Mako doesn't know what is going on. He's still stuck on the fact that somehow he was a 'bad boy' that he 'needs to be punished' and this has something to do with them having sex (really!?) with him? Why? What?

Rin, lowers his arms and starts to back away from Mako back towards the bed but then he grabs one of Mako's hands and drags him to the bed along with him.

Mako's eyes are on Haru's looking at him. He looks expectant. Like this is something he's wanted for a long time.

Rin walks with a purposeful stride towards the bed while pulling Mako behind him who feels like a toddler once more taking their first steps led by someone else helping him along. His steps are unsure, ungainly, and follow one after the other as he is led by Rin to Haru, sitting naked expectantly upon the bed.

As they come near the bed, within touching distance, Rin gives a strong yank and then turns around behind Mako and pushes him upon the bed. Mako suddenly finds himself lying down upon the bed surrounded by Haru on left and Rin on his right with each of them holding down one of his hands above his head. Their other hands are upon his cheeks.

Mako with his tear streaked, crusty, red-splotchy face looks up at his heart's desire and whispers brokenly, "I don't understand."

Rin and Haru softly wipe away his tears with a soft brush of their hands. Haru doesn't say anything just looks at him. Mako is unsure what he reads in those blue eyes of his but it makes his heart rate increase nonetheless.

Rin's other hand moves from his cheek to his chin and draws Mako's attention once more to him. "We know," Rin says softly in a tone reminiscent to parental corrective voice. He continues in a more heated tone laced with anger and betrayal, "You belong to us, Mako, and we do not share."

_Eh?_

Rin's hand then grabs Mako's hair once more, wrapped the hair around his fingers, and pulls it tightly causing Mako's neck and back to arch. Mako emits a soft whimper and Haru's mouth fastens upon his neck lightly biting, nipping, and licking up and down causing more whimpers, gasps, groans, and grunts to emit from Mako's mouth.

Rin's hand yanks once more, "Tonight, with our teeth," Haru nips his neck, "lips," Haru kisses his neck in a different spot, "tongue," Haru licks a stripe of skin on his neck, "hands," Haru's hand moves towards his dick and squeezes tightly as Rin yanks once more on his hair, "and our dicks" they both grind up against his body letting him feel their erections, "you will learn who you belong to."

Mako in haze of glorious pleasure filled pain whispers, "Yes," in a drawn-out moan.


End file.
